.Editor's Keep in mind: The observing is actually the message of a character from Trip Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reflecting on the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed very much regarding specifics of the goal during the month I've been here, mostly for pair of reasons: the initial being actually that there has been incredibly little opportunity to perform that kind of composing, and furthermore, because I am actually not sure just how comfy I am actually sharing thoughts I provide friends and family along with the remainder of the globe.Well, obviously the world modified today. What I say or perform is very minor matched up to the value of what took place to our country today when it was struck through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is all we know, I suppose. Difficult to recognize at whom to direct our temper as well as concern ...I had actually only ended up an amount of tasks today, the absolute most taxing being actually the physical exams of all staff participants. In a personal discussion adhering to that, the trip plastic surgeon told me they were possessing an extremely negative time on the ground. I had no tip ...He described the condition to me as finest he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually stunned, at that point alarmed. My initial thought and feelings was that this wasn't an actual chat, that I was actually still paying attention to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It simply really did not appear feasible on this incrustation in our nation. I could not also think of the particulars, even just before the information of more damage started can be found in.Vladimir came by fairly quickly, noticing that one thing really serious was actually being actually talked about. I swayed Michael into the component as well. They were actually additionally astonished and stunned. After our team signed off, I tried to explain to Vladimir as well as Michael as finest I could possibly the possible size of this act of horror in downtown New york as well as at the Government. They clearly comprehended and also were really considerate.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the computer to find where over the globe our experts were actually and observed that our experts were happening southeast out of Canada and would be skipping New England in a few mins. I whized around the terminal till I discovered a home window that will give me a perspective of New York City and took hold of the local video camera. It occurred to become a video camera, and also I was looking south coming from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to have a strange blossom to it at the base of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the area. After going through some of the news articles we merely received, I feel our experts were actually examining NY around the amount of time of, or even quickly after, the collapse of the 2nd high rise. How unpleasant ...I scanned the electronic camera the whole time the East Shore to the south to view if I might find any other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, but nothing was visible.It was actually fairly complicated to think of work afterwards, though our team had some to perform, yet on the next orbit our experts crossed the United States additional south. All three of us were operating a couple of cams to try to get views of The big apple or Washington. There was fog over Washington, but no specific resource can be seen. Everything looked extraordinary from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can not picture the unfortunate scenes on the ground.Other than the psychological impact of our nation being attacked and also 1000s of our people and also possibly some friends being actually killed, the most difficult emotion being actually where I am is among solitude.Following time ... I suspect the exhaustion and also mental tension received the very best of me. I couldn't stay awake as well as remain to create. Today was still tough, yet our company started obtaining more relevant information, plus our team had the honor of speaking straight along with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that ensured us that the ground teams would certainly remain to work and also guarantee our safety, along with the risk-free function of the Place. Our team also learnt through our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the companions in the System are actually all entirely committed to continuing safe procedures and support. These were actually certainly never inquiries for me. I recognize all these people! The ground teams have been very helpful, very understanding of the influence of the headlines, and also have attempted to become as useful as feasible. They have actually all been actually very professional and also focused though I can not envision the distraction of this particular form of news being available in and the idea that authorities structures may be vulnerable. They never ever bypassed a beat, also when transferring control centers. And a team of elderly staffs and also friends offered our team a rather detailed briefing on what was actually understood as well as what was being actually done in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually really useful and also type of all of them to accomplish in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has additionally been encouraging and also helpful, trying to uplink newspaper article when our very own properties were actually inoperable, and stating kind terms ...My crewmates have actually been wonderful, as well. They know it's been a hard day for me and the individuals on the ground, and also they've made an effort to become as even keeled and also practical as achievable. Michael even fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for supper. As well as they give me a lot of area to believe when I required it. They are actually very considerate and also of course shocked at whoever would perform this.I recognize plenty of people in Washington, many folks that travel to DC and also New York City, plenty of that are actually pilots, that I really felt sure I would acquire at least a couple of pieces of bad news over the next couple of days. I received the very first one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Government was actually Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I encountered Chic during the course of plebe summertime when our team resided in the D&B all together, and our team had bunches of training class with each other. I can't imagine what he should of gone through, and also right now I listen to that he might have increased even more than our experts can easily even think about by potentially preventing his aircraft coming from being the one to tackle the White Home. What a horrendous reduction, but I'm sure Chic was actually battling fearlessly throughout. And also tears don't move the very same in space ...It is actually tough to define exactly how it feels to become the only American fully off the world each time like this. The emotion that I must exist along with all of you, managing this, helping in some way, is overwhelming. I know that our team get on the limit (or even beyond) of a horrible shift in the background of the world. Numerous factors are going to never ever be the same once more after September 11, 2001. Not merely for the 1000s and also lots of folks directly impacted through these ghastly actions of violence, but probably for we all. Our company are going to discover ourselves experiencing differently about loads of points, consisting of most likely room exploration, however.It is actually awful to find smoke putting from cuts in your personal country from such a fantastic angle. The duality of being on a space probe devoted to boosting live on the planet and watching life being destroyed by such premeditated, horrible process is actually jolting to the psyche, no matter that you are actually. And the understanding that everything will definitely be actually different than when our team introduced due to the time we land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our nation and also in our management that our experts will certainly perform every thing feasible to better defend her and our families, and to deliver justice of what has been actually carried out. I possess self-confidence that the excellent individuals at NASA will certainly perform whatever required to continue our purpose properly and also return us safely at the right time. As well as I skip each of you very much. I can't be there along with you personally, and also our company have a very long way to head to finish our mission, but be actually certain that my center is with you, and recognize you reside in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the last letter ... Fortunately, it's been actually an active week up listed below. And to show that, like our nation, our company are actually continuing on our desired course with business as usual (as much as feasible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the place, the Russian Docking Area will definitely be released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday evening (United States time), it will definitely dock with our company, at a slot never ever used prior to on the nadir side of the Company Component. This brand new element will certainly give us one more location to dock a Progression or Soyuz as well as will certainly provide a huge airlock along with 2 able to be used hatches for conducting EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our experts will certainly perform a few of prior to our team get back.The complication just before in taking care of today was actually insufficient updates. The concern right now is actually way too much. It came simultaneously when e-mail was recovered, and also there is actually not enough opportunity to read all of it! Plus it is actually too challenging to deal with all of it at the same time. However I value obtaining it, and also I definitely appreciate the terrific letters of support as well as relationship I am actually obtaining.We are succeeding aboard, getting our job carried out, and also referring to traits. Last night we possessed a long conversation over supper concerning the importance of these occasions, the possible actions to follow, and what must be carried out. After supper, Michael challenged informing me that every e-mail he received coming from pals in Russia said exclusively to tell me exactly how regretful they were actually that this happened, stretching their condolences, and talking to how I was actually doing. Vladimir taught me the Russian phrase for "condolences" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity City. (Both the Russian and the English terms are actually considerably very long to articulate conveniently.) Extremely types folks.For the final two days, the Russian MCC has been good enough to transmit real-time shows of radio updates concerning the activity and also affiliated accounts, to see to it I was properly updated. Every specialist who has begun free throw line to discuss a technique or even a trouble has at some point prolonged greetings to me with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that as a result of the wedding day of remembrance in the United States, all day people had actually been actually bringing blooms as well as edging all the wall structures of the US consulate in Moscow, as well as this evening they were actually igniting candles in the street outside the embassy. Exactly how the world has actually changed.People everywhere seem to recognize the senselessness and scary in this particular strike. As well as the tremendous reduction. Moscow has actually coped with these type of problems in the last couple of years with condo and also train battles, so they are actually as distressed to do away with this threat as we are. However the bottom line is actually that there are actually excellent folks anywhere who intend to live in calmness. I read through that a youngster inquired, "The United States is therefore great to various other nations, our experts always help everyone, just how can they despise us so much?".I really hope the example of participation and count on that this spacecraft plus all people in the system display daily are going to one day influence the remainder of the planet to function similarly. They must!However, our experts will not be actually flying over the US while folks are lighting candlesticks. Don't recognize if our team could possibly view that anyway. Our experts did, however, view a very unusual as well as stunning sight a couple of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz booster. Our experts were surpassing it and also it emerged regarding three moments after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sun hit our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It looked like a sizable comet along with a right, vast rear silhouetted versus the darker planet beneath. Regardless of some bad lighting fixtures for a while as the sunlight struck our home window at a reduced perspective, I handled some video clip of it as to begin with our experts passed the rocket, and then enjoyed it begin to catch up as it obtained height and speed. I shot up until main engine cutoff and enhancer splitting up took place equally as we came close to sunup on the Himalayas. An unforgettable sight in an unforgettable week ...Lifestyle goes on, also precede. Our company're listed below to stay ... Frank.